Armistice

‘Tis better to have loved and lost/ Than never to have loved at all’ 

Alfred Lord Tennyson

5am and I can feel

Your weight around my neck;

And every step was torture,

Thoughts a bullet to the head;

Hurt signposted for miles around,

I loathed the dusty track;

And tears squirmed out of every pore,

I dreamt of turning back;

We were drowning in our feelings

And we’d lost where we began;

You said, ‘We’ll go our separate ways’.

It felt like a release;

But when it came to letting go

I only felt defeat;

A precious flower, yet to bloom,

Was wilting in the heat;

The weed of resignation

Would surely prove too much.

If you’d consent to strangle me

I’d shiver at your touch.

Your fingers laced around my neck

Could only make me blush.

Better far to love our hurt

Than hurt for want of you.

And we will hurt each other

Yet we need each other too.

I’m gentlest when I’m with you

But our minds are black and blue.

I will not risk a rupture

Though an end may find us soon.

So I will end this armistice

Though we bare our hearts to wreck.

5am and I can feel

Your weight around my neck.